I’ve been through a lot in my lifetime- more than some and less than others. Over the last few years, I’ve become a believer in that everything I have been through has led me to where I am today. I will admit that it sounds kind of cheesy. What I’m trying to say is that the bad sucks, but it can also help you appreciate the good.
The more days I spend on this complicated earth, the more I realize that I’m exactly where I need to be at this moment in time. I’ve experienced loss. It’s not easy. I’ve experienced heartbreak. It’s horrible. I’ve experienced poverty and betrayal. It’s made me stronger.
If you are currently struggling with something, remember these 6 things.
1. You can do this!
A sibling of mine is having a hard time right now. I hate to sit back and watch it, especially when I am helpless. However, I know that it will get better and he or she will figure it out. I feel it in my bones. You can do it. I know you can! I’m here to talk when you need to.
2. Talk about it.
I talk about everything: goals, dreams, kids, flaws, mistakes, hardships, accomplishments. You name it, I have my go-to people that hear it all (I kind of feel sorry for you guys). It’s important to talk about your struggles with someone you can trust. Do you have that someone? A counselor is also a great option.
3. Admit that this is total crap.
Yes, it sucks. I know it does. Take a deep breath. DO take the time you need to heal. DON’T stop trying. Admit that it’s horrible out loud. You might need to scream into a pillow each night for a week straight. It will be hard, and everyone heals at a different pace. Don’t give up. We love you too much.
4. Remember that good things can and will surface.
It’s hard to write #4 and think about deep loss, like the death of a family member or someone struggling with cancer. I believe that good things will surface. You might be thinking… What the heck, Nichole? Shut up and move on with your overly positive self. I understand that there are big things in life that are terrible. Big things that even kill us. But there are beautiful things and opportunities, too. Whenever I experience loss, I try very hard to think about all of the happy moments I was able to share with that person (or pet.) I’m happy and thankful for those times. The love I have for them will never change. Good will come.
5. Make a list and plan.
I’m a list person. When I am struggling to make a complicated decision, I create a list. When I am feeling passionate about a topic, I write a blog post that is essentially a list. When you’re lost and feel hopeless about your future, write a list of good things that you have at this very moment. Is it your health? Is it your children? Once you have that list, stew on it for a bit. Now create a to-do list. What can you do to make your situation better or more tolerable?
6. Do something, anything.
Get up and do something. If you’ve experienced a loss recently and you can’t get out of bed, take a warm bath and put on clean clothes. If you’re suffering because you can’t find a job and you’re broke, go apply for 10 jobs right now! If you broke your leg and you’re depressed and feel alone, call someone to come over and watch Ozark with you. The point is to do something right now, this instant. Don’t wait until tomorrow. Do it now. After you do it, give yourself kudos and try it again tomorrow.
If you’re reading this and you have been struggling, I believe that these 6 tips can help. Remember that you are not alone, even if you literally are alone. Don’t be afraid to take risks and move forward. Find a group to join or a church. Pray about it. Go see a counselor, or call an old friend. Get out of bed and wash your face, literally. Hang in there. I promise that one day you will feel pretty good about how far you’ve come. It certainly won’t be perfect (nothing is), but you will feel better about the road that you’re traveling down.
This post was written after an awesome day! Yes, there was coffee involved.