When something unexpected like the death of your mother happens, there will always be things you’d wish you’d be able to say to her. This is what I would say to my mom right now. I hope she is listening.
Holy cow. Seriously?! I can’t believe this happened. I never thought your life on earth would close like this. None of us did.
Bill misses you so much. He’s a disaster, to be honest. He misses his best friend. I want to help him. But the only thing that will help him, really, is being with you and time. I love him AND you.
I wanted to be here to help you after chemo. I wanted to clean the toilet, buy you presents and hug your body. I wanted to talk with you over coffee about the weather and how totally obnoxious my sister is (I’ll let you decide which one I’m talking about).
I have no doubt that you know I loved you. Like any child/parent relationship, we had our differences. But we also have similarities. I’m pretty sure I have you to thank for the following:
⁃ My never-ending forehead, also known as my five-head.
⁃ My stubbornness. My husband thanks you for this one.
⁃ My outgoing and fun loving personality. You always knew how to make people feel good. You weren’t afraid to have a good time.
Having a mother like you was good for my life. It made me a strong person and a great mother myself. My children will benefit from it, they already have. Thank you.
When I think about my childhood, it’s a bit of a blur. But I will always remember cleaning out your purse to find pennies. And buying you a single carnation at the neighborhood flower shop when you gave me $1 for allowance – perhaps for cleaning out your purse.
I’m sorry for being judgmental and distant at times. I wish I had tried harder. I promise to make a better effort with my siblings, nieces and nephews and Bill. I will help take care of him and help him understand how much love we all have for this great man that took care of you for so many years. He was your rock and now we will be his.
I love you so much. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life the way I have been in the last six months. I felt appreciated and loved. I believe you did also.
Hang in there. I hope heaven is real. I hope you are looking down on us right now, as pissed off as we are that you are gone. Give Opa and Lendon a kiss from all of us.
Until we meet again.
Nichole, Adam, Natalee and Tommy
Thank you all for being here. Please consider writing your mom or loved one a letter. You never know when their time on earth will close.
NOTE: This is what I read at my mother’s memorial on January 19, 2018. I want to share it with those that were unable to attend. I hope you take something from it. Thank you for all of the love and support from friends and family. From flowers to blankets and food to candles (and much more), it all has meant the world to me.
I miss you, Mom.