I know what I want and I want it now! Yep. I’ll be the first to admit it. When I get an idea or plan in my head, I want it NOW! I don’t want to wait hours, weeks, days or years (are you kidding me right now) to have it. If there’s a problem, yo I’ll solve it. Ok, I’ll stop with the cheesy song references. Seriously, though…
Why do you I (or you) need to make a decision RIGHT NOW?
The other day I received a text message from a trusted mentor and friend that made me think about the instant gratification issue that I share with many others. We want to achieve our goals, fix our problems, and make a final decision immediately. I want a promotion this month! I need a new vehicle now! I have-to-have a solution to this issue this moment.
Want, need and have to statements can be tricky. These words are often interchanged or confused with one another. What we want is often not really what we need. So how in the name of all things wonderful do we know what we want, need or have-to-have? Beats the (insert four letter word here) out of me.
Don’t get discouraged, keep reading…
I recently lost a client. Whenever this happens I go into “got-to-get-a-new-client” mode. I brainstorm quickly, over-analyze (what could I have done differently?), search online, and email people straight away. This is my job! This is my livelihood! I need to feed my family (meanwhile, my husband is super successful and can feed our family just fine)! Can you hear the panic in my voice though? I immediately need, want and must have an answer to replacing my almost former client. I get wrapped up in the solution and don’t take the time to learn from the experience.
SIDE NOTE: I believe that learning is the key to making better decisions in the future. How can we learn from anything if we are so quick to jump?
Let’s turn the focus back on me and my needs. I need (and that’s definitely the correct word choice) to slow down. You might need to also. I need to have a little faith that things are going to be just fine and a “solution” is coming. No, it might not be right here in front of my face this instant. Yes, every little thing is gonna be alright. Stop worrying so much and start making a list. Did I mention that I’m a list person? Ask my little sister, who is probably rolling her eyes at my mention of lists…again.
Let’s get started…
The next time you find yourself in a frenzy – needing answers and solutions THIS INSTANT – use this checklist to put your own self in check. Take your immediate problem, any problem, and run it through this list. It will help, trust me.
Here are a few examples of situations that people sometimes rush into finding a solution to:
- I need to do this right now!
- I want to quit my job.
- I have to drive a 2018 Lexus E350.
Problem: Fill in the blank with your own immediate need here _____________________________ and ask yourself the following questions.
- Why? Come up with at least 5 solid reasons why you need this to happen right now.
- What have you learned from the current state you find yourself in? (Be sure to focus on the positive aspects, too.)
- Will anything bad happen if you don’t make a change in the next 30 days?
- Could anything good happen if you don’t make a decision in the next 30 days?
- Have you tried at least 3 other possible solutions other than making a big change?
- Have you talked to close friends or family members about this situation? Have you thought about or considered taking their advice?
- Will anyone get hurt if you do not make a decision about this right now?
The answers to these questions will, of course, depend on what you are trying to do, change or achieve. Taking the time to ask yourself these things will help you realize what you really need – not want or have – to do. Of course there are things that need to be addressed right away in all cases. That’s not what I’m referring to here.
The key to making the right choices begins with slowing down and learning from mistakes. If you take the time to analyze and understand the situation you find yourself in, it will help you find the right path in the future. Making small changes and implementing small rewards can help you feel more fulfilled. Now, if I could just practice what I write.
This post was written on my lunch break while drinking coffee from a straw. It goes down faster that way, you know…
*I am sorry for calling you a dummy. You are not a dummy. <3